I know you're programmed to resist and dismiss as "apostasy" anything that is not copyrighted or dispensed by The Watchtower/Governing Body and self-appointed "faithful and discreet slave." I used to be like you. It's sad that it took my mom's dying to snap me out of it though. It's easier to take the "blue" pill and stay in the sheltered life of fantasy, fairytales and blissful ignorance than the harsh, cold, painful truth of reality. Unfortunately, life forced the "red" pill down my throat. The "organization" gives you only their one-sided view. But, you can read, study and take into consideration any and all information or data you choose and reach your own informed decisions and conclusions. As an example, simply Google how the common Bible texts used to promote hatred and intolerance towards gays have been hugely misinterpreted and have absolutely nothing to do with modern-day gay relationships but, rather, are coming from a place of ignorance and homophobia. Also, reflect on Jesus' message of love, empathy, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, humility, peace, etc. He had 0-tolerance for lies, violence, intolerance, injustice, discrimination, hatred, abuse, ego, selfishness, partiality, favoritism, etc. As you know, YHWH gave us all free will and no human or its religious counterpart has a right to censure this God-given right. I was a JW up until age 27 when my mother died from terminal illness. The supposed "loving, caring brothers and sisters/worldwide brotherhood" proved to be like all other religions: judgmental, intolerant and hateful hypocrites. After 27 years of living the self-appointed "faithful and discreet slave's" manipulation, brain-washing, personal opinions and interpretations, lies, fantasies and failed predictions, it all came to a screeching halt in one day. My faith had been shattered. I was devastated. I had been abandoned. Therefore, in heartfelt, profound prayer to YHWH I came to terms with being gay.
About His Ideal Match
It wasn't about sex, as they would all have you believe, but companionship, friendship, connecting with a kindred spirit, conversation, tenderness, compassion, gentleness, the healing touch/embrace, etc., as I was extremely lonely. Also, I'm not a "typical" gay person as I have a different moral compass, upbringing, viewpoint, etc., so I can't relate to the stereotypical lifestyle. However, I also do not play God and judge others. No human stands in that right because, as you know, The Bible says that "we have all sinned and fall short in the eyes of God" and that "no one is good except God." Also, Jesus said that "he who is without sin [should] cast the first stone" and "judge not lest ye be judged." I expressed my deepest apologies to YHWH, but I felt deep in my heart that YHWH had made me this way. I always knew I was gay. I didn't ask to be and I wish I wasn't. So, since YHWH had "made everything in perfection," I felt at peace knowing that YHWH had a purpose and a plan for me. Also, contrary to the message of fear and dread they instill in you and all that talk of the "malediction that shall befall you" should you choose to abandon Jehovah/the Governing Body/the Watchtower, YHWH has never deserted me and continues to "rain blessings" upon me. I am still a person of faith. I do not live in fear anymore. Such as of Armageddon or not being good enough in Jehovah's eyes or living in constant dread of not knowing whether I am truly saved or not. I pray this message reaches the heart and touches the mind of loving, humble, gentle, sensitive, honest, compassionate, empathetic, caring and tender "brothers and sisters" that are feeling ostracized, tortured, judged, discriminated, criticized, rejected, lonely, betrayed and abandoned as I was. There is life, joy, peace and LOVE after JW!